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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27790468">Better 'n' a Lot Lizard Licking a Lollipop</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/remarkable1/pseuds/remarkable1'>remarkable1</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom, Thor (Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Cheating, Consensual Non-Consent, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Dirty Bits, Dirty Cunts, Dirty Dick, Dirty Sex, Dirty Talk, F/M, Filth, Forced Breeding Fantasy, Hoe!Darcy Lewis, Hoe!Jane Foster, Just Dirty Shit Everywhere, Just Read The Damn Fic Already it's Filthy as Fuck, Multi, Multiple Orgasms, Multiple Sex Positions, Raw Sex, Sluts, Smut, Southern Crack, Trucker!Thor, Truckstop A/U, Unprotected Sex, Whore!Thor, crack!fic kinda, hoes, no magic, pregnancy fetish</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 14:29:28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,665</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27790468</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/remarkable1/pseuds/remarkable1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Smut. All. Smut. Trucker Thor. Truckstop worker/hoes Jane and Darcy. Dead Dove, Do Not Eat. Read at your own risk. Extremely dirty and filthy. You've been warned. It oughtta be rated like, triple XXX.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Darcy Lewis/Thor, Jane Foster/Thor, Thor/Implied Others, Thor/Wife, thor/multiple</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>26</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Better 'n' a Lot Lizard Licking a Lollipop</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>This is undoubtedly the filthiest thing I've ever published. I'm doing a slap 'n dash. You are going to find a TON of spelling mistakes. On purpose. I've written this fic in a parody of southern slang in the United States. It's kinda crack. If this isn't your thing, move on, please. It's extremely filthy. Dead dove, do not eat. Trucker Thor, Truckstop hoes Jane Foster and Darcy Lewis.</p><p>The heavy-set trucker stepped out of his rig and adjusted the belt under his bulky belly, hitching it up a notch. Time to either get more exercise or buy a bigger pair of jeans. Buying bigger was probably easier, he mused.</p><p>Scratching his ass, he stretched, grinning at the back of the cashier’s head through the truck stop window. This was one of his favorite places to stop at. The folks were friendly, and some of the staff were even – ahem – friendlier. Seems they fancied a bit of country boy now and again on the side.</p><p>He sauntered in, not bothering to suck in his gut. The girls here knew him in the biblical sense. No point trying to hide what they’d already seen and liked, from past experience.</p><p>“Howdy Thor! Haven’t seen you ‘round these parts in a spell!” Jane’s voice lilted above the general hum of the diner/store, sashaying towards him in that tight little uniform. JESUS she had a nice ass. The cashier had the best set of titties he’d ever seen, too. Together, he was guaranteed to blow his wad at least three times. </p><p>That Darcy girl liked it hard up the ass, and Jane was a sucker for blows. Didn’t even need to pay’em. Damn he sure had respect for hard working gals that loved showing a man or two a good time. God Bless America.</p><p>“Baby Jane. The wife’s been keeping me on a tight leash. Got another little’un on the way. You know she’s jealous ‘o all the good lookin’ wimmin’ out this way.”</p><p>“She’s got every right to. If you were my man, I wouldn’t let you outta my bed.”</p><p>“Good thing I ain’t, or you wouldn’t be seeing the light of day, fuckin’ around with all these good ole’ boys.”</p><p>She gave him a dirty smile and pressed herself against him unashamedly, uncaring of the audience that only glanced in their direction and then away. They’d seen it all a thousand times. </p><p>Palming his package, she winked at him with her sassy fake eyelashes fluttering. “Care for a freebie?”</p><p>“They’re all free with you, Darlin’” he smirked, lifting her up like she weighed nothing as she giggled. “Where to?”</p><p>“You got room in yer rig?”</p><p>“Damn straight. Lemme take a piss and grab some smokes. Meet you out back.”</p><p>“I’ve been gagging for your dick honey.”</p><p>Thor felt himself grow hard. “None ‘o that now, ‘ye hear? I don’t wanna be pissin’ on the ceiling.”</p><p>“Hm. Nice problem to have though.”</p><p>She untied her apron and tossed it over to the cashier. “Darcy? Can you keep up for a bit? I’m takin’ my break.”</p><p>“Sure thing honey!” the saucy thing lilted, also winking at Thor, pressing her boobs out for him in front of three other admirers.</p><p>Thor groaned. God he loved these country girls. Guaranteed to suck his ball sack dry every trip he made up this way. The pay wasn’t shit for a load round these parts, but the side benefits were out of this world.</p><p>In no time flat he had his vittles, making a beeline for the little treat hanging off his trailer’s hood.</p><p>“How you get up there sweet thang?” he drawled, holding his arms out as she slid down into them.</p><p>Not answering with words, he was hard-pressed not to bend her over right there next to his rig and fuck her, but they had strict protocol. No quickies in public.</p><p>Faster than lightnin’ he had her shoved up inside the back sleeping cabin. His was larger than most, but that wasn’t saying much. With his bulk, the space was still small. Luckily, the girl took up hardly any room. She made it easy for him, already having his belt half unbuckled, that pretty little manicured hand stuffed into his shorts, jerking what she could reach.</p><p>He leaned down and took her lips in a sloppy kiss, pawing at her titties through her uniform. “You make me get the fattest chubbies lil’ thang,” he sweet talked, and she moaned into his mouth. </p><p>Not wasting any time, he let her pull his jeans and shorts down, the belt jingling as she shoved it to his ankles. “You got the best dick ‘round these parts, mister,” she complimented, then inhaled his musky aroma. “Mm. Love me some workin’ man.”</p><p>Her petite hand couldn’t reach all the way around his prick, and it turned him on to see her try and handle it. </p><p>That impossibly small mouth opened big as a bullfrog’s, stuffing the fat head right inside. Thor’s eyes rolled back a bit, eyes closing as he gathered up her long hair in a ponytail and yanked her forward.</p><p>“That’s right you slutty bitch, suck big daddy’s cock,” he drawled, gagging her immediately. She shuddered, creaming herself. What a fuckin’ masochist.</p><p>He worked her hard and fast over his dick, choking her, creating long strings of saliva and mucus to leak from around her mouth as she expertly licked and sucked him to a blinding climax in no time flat. Thor swore he saw stars as he emptied down her throat.</p><p>FUCK that was amazing. No one ever blew him the way she did. Well, sweet thang Darcy did, but she was the only other one.</p><p>Stamina was his middle name, or shoulda been. Staying hard, he swung her petite body around and rucked up her uniform, ripping the panties off her ass like tissue paper.</p><p>“Hey! Thems was my best pair!”</p><p>“I’ll buy you three more, Darlin’, worth it to get a hold of this purty little ass.”</p><p>He groped at her, then spread her legs and bent his knees, pushing her forward so he had access to her dripping cunt.</p><p>“How many good ole’ boys you fucked today?” he asked gruffly, feeling the slick down there, her hole already gaping.</p><p>“Oh, the usual.”</p><p>“Hm. Good thing they prepared the way.” Thor was <i>huge</i>, and she needed it before taking him.</p><p>He loved it raw and dirty. Popping the thick head inside, she screeched, gushing other men’s fluids around his dirty prick. </p><p>“Fuck you’re tight!” he moaned. Of course, everything was tight around a man his size, but this good girl took the biscuit.</p><p>“Fuck me!” she whined, and boy did he ever. </p><p>He groped her hips and pulled her over his massive dick, fucking up into her petite frame, shaking her like an earthquake, making her yelp and scream. The cream of other men and her slutty pussy covered him, allowing him to slosh through her obscenely, making him impossibly harder knowing his come might put a little’un in her belly. Holy fuck, the image of this bitch pregnant with his baby made him fuck her rabidly, so hard he nearly bust through her stomach.</p><p>With seven already at home, one on the way and a few illegitimate ones he worked overtime to pay child support for, he was in heaven. </p><p>“Fuckin’ slut. Yeah, bitch. Come on my cock. Get you pregnant, you dumb bitch. Fuck!” he roared when she gushed over him again, screaming his name as he emptied inside of her.</p><p>When he finished, he spun her around, feasting on her mouth. They pulled away gradually, sweating and disheveled. “Hot damn, girl. Always showin’ me a good time.”</p><p>“Anything for you.”</p><p>“I hope to see your belly swell next time I come ‘round here.”</p><p>Janey just smiled up at him. “Wouldn’t you? I think you got enough to pay fer.”</p><p>“I’ll gladly pay fer one more with you little girl.”</p><p>“You know I can’t have anymore young’uns.”</p><p>“I know. A guy can always pray ter Jesus for a miracle tho’.”</p><p>She laughed, letting him slap her ass as she pulled a pair of panties out of her dress pocket. “You never know when you’re gonna need a spare,” she teased, then sauntered out after stealing a cigarette. “See ya later. I’ll send Darcy out after her shift.”</p><p>“You do that.”</p><p>Christ, Thor was beat. Sucking down his soda, sandwich and cig, he flopped his fat ass onto his bunk and passed out til evening.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>He woke to a dark head of curls sucking him off. Although he needed to take a piss, he was amused she’d picked the lock to his bunk, not quite ready to let off another round yet. He needed some supper and a good, stiff piss. Mebbe a shower, too, he figured, smelling his pits.</p><p>The movement caught her attention. Letting his cock slide from her lips and flop over his zipper, he winced as a sharp edge caught the sensitive skin. Thor tucked himself away hastily. Darcy wasn’t ‘zactly careful around his equipment.</p><p>“You blew it all on Janie, didn’ja?” she drawled, helping herself to his thick thigh. Rucking up her little skirt, she had no panties on, rubbing herself raw on his dirty jeans until she came.</p><p>Thor just put his arms behind his head and enjoyed the show.</p><p>“Needy little thing.”</p><p>“Goddamn, you know it Big Daddy,” she sighed after she came on the material, flopping on the tiny edge his bulk afforded her on the bunk.</p><p>“Gonna get me some grub?”</p><p>“I ain’t your maid, hoss. I ‘spose I can though, ‘else I ain’t gonna get none, am I?”</p><p>“Nope. Not tonight. I’m tuckered out as ‘tis. You c’mon in here ‘round four in the mornin’ and I’ll stuff you real full. The first nut of the day is the best, baby. I’ll save it fer ya.”</p><p>Darcy nearly creamed herself as he pulled her in for a nasty, wet kiss, leaving her starry-eyed. She grasped at his bulging biceps before disengaging to go get him some food.</p><p>He paid her for the meal despite her protests. Thor didn’t want no woman ever claiming he paid her for sex, even if it was via free food. No sirree. His ass wasn’t goin’ to jail over some two-bit, used up cunts, no matter how juicy and fine they were.</p><p>She reluctantly left and Thor settled down to sleep. He had a long haul ahead of him the next day and needed his shut ‘eye, else he run himself and a few others off’n the road.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>The little cunt picked his lock again, waking him with her mouth around his dick -again.</p><p>This time, he didn’t let her get away with it.</p><p>“You know how much it costs me to fix that damn thing every time you pick’n it, girl?” he growled, voice rough with sleep.</p><p>With a yelp, he man-handled her under his bulk, his lower stomach hanging against her ass, cock pressing tight to her brown star.</p><p>“Not mah ass, you fucker!” she screeched.</p><p>Thor grinned to himself, grabbing her hair and slapping her hands away as she tried to scratch at him blindly.</p><p>He shoved his dick at her a few times in mock threat. “I should fuck ya dry, ya cunt. Next time ya pick ma lock, ‘yer paying for it with this dirty hole.”</p><p>“I promise I won’t do ‘er again, I swear!” she half-sobbed, thrusting her ass higher as she contradicted her words.</p><p>“You better’ave cleaned up for me. I’m not in the mood for another man’s leavins’ this early.”</p><p>“Just showered! You clean?”</p><p>“Yeah. Lucky you. Long day ahead, imagine this sweaty thing blowing inside you round quittin’ time,” he growled, pressing the fat head of his prick to her plump, slick, hairy pussy lips.</p><p>“Fuck me!” she demanded.</p><p>“Oh, I’ll fuck ya alright,” he breathed, then shoved himself into her in one go.</p><p>She screamed, and he immediately set a pace that sent his cab rocking, so that anyone who passed by would know just what the hell they was up to.</p><p>“Ya know, I was tellin’ Janie I wanna put a baby in’er, but she’s dried up,” he panted, grasping her hips so hard he knew they would bruise.<br/>
Darcy hated when he left marks on her. Good. Would teach the bitch a lesson not to toe the line with’im.</p><p>“No!” she shouted out, having started to really get into it. “Don’t come’in me, ya asshole! I ain’t on the pill!”</p><p>That was exactly the wrong thing to say. He felt a little bit of come spurt from his tip as he grew ever harder, redoubling his efforts.</p><p>“Oh baby, you have no idea what your sweet talkin’ does to me,” he groaned, bending his protesting knees as they creaked under his effort.</p><p>“I ain’t sweet talkin’, Thor! I means it!”</p><p>“I do too, baby. Fuck, this honey’hole’s gonna get filled. Your belly’ll get real big with my kid, mebbe two, and I’ll fuck another one inter’ya all over again,” he drawled, feeling his balls start to swell in warning.</p><p>“No, god no! I don’t wanna be no momma you prick!” she sobbed, really fighting him now.</p><p>Thor could feel her cunt pulsing around his dick, her orgasm wracking her body as she screamed, squirt dripping down her thighs so his cock was lubed heavily in her release.</p><p>“Here’it comes, Darlin’. Fuck, oh fuck, take it all!”</p><p>He slammed into her one last time, feeling his jizz shoot and shoot in heavy ropes into her fertile cunt until at last, his stream slowed and he slumped his bulk over her back.</p><p>“Get off’n me, ya dick,” she complained.</p><p>He tiredly complied. Fuck. Why had he thought fuckin’ this bitch, this early would wake him up? Now he needed a coffee iffin’ he was gonna get started on time truckin’.</p><p>She whirled around as soon as he let her go, practically leaping into his arms in a frenzy, kissing the shit out of him. “Take me with you,” she begged hotly.</p><p>“Thought you hated mah guts,” he rumbled, still half-amused at the about-face she always did when she let him fuck’er. Always claimin’ she wasn’t on the pill, yet she never got fat with anyone’s kid. Slut was gaggin’ for a good pounding twenty-four-seven. She loved roleplaying forced breeding, which happened to be one of his darker kinks. Darcy was the only one he did it to, which is why he kept her around. That, and he hoped he would impregnate her someday. Fuck, he’d fuck her ‘round the clock if that happened.</p><p>“I could never hate you, sugar lips. I just need to keep my lips wrapped around your dick, that’s all. Let me come with ya. I’ll keep good company,” she wheedled.</p><p>He carefully set her down and righted himself.</p><p>“’M sorry, dollface. Against regs. I’ll be by next week, and plug ya again if yer up fer another round er two.”</p><p>“My legs are always open for you, baby,” she promised, not at all put out by his rough handling.</p><p>Grabbing his package once more and squeezing until he winced in pain, she winked and fixed her skirt, flouncing out of the bunk to go shower before her shift started.</p><p>“These girls’ r gonna kill me one’a these days,” he complained with a grin.</p><p>Just then, his cell rang and he swore. “Shit. Just what I don’t need.”</p><p>He flicked it to answer, putting on his best fake, happy voice. “Ya baby, whatcha’ need?”</p><p>He scratched his ass and put the phone down while his wife started in on him about his no-good cheatin’ ass, leaving it in the cabin to go catch another shower himself. Hm. Maybe he’d catch up to Darcy and ream her ass anyway.</p><p>He knew his cunt wife would still be screamin’ when he got back.</p><p>Another day in the life of a good ole’ boy.</p>
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